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1 What is Beyonce the Queen of?

  • July 23, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · Thought Box

One of the most recognizable and influential pop stars in the world right now is Beyonce. She started out as the front woman of Destiny’s Child, broke free as a solo act in 2003 with her debut album Dangerously in Love, and hasn’t looked back since. She has released six solo studio albums and very recently dropped her first collab album with husband Jay-Z, titled Everything is Love. A fashion clothing line, a perfume line, movie roles, an athletic wear line, and a handful of endorsements later, Beyonce is now worth a cool $350 million. The most valuable asset Beyonce has been able to cultivate is the “Beyhive.” Her loyal (though not as loyal as one might think for reasons later discussed) fanbase praises everything she does, sometimes going so far as to actually worship her and/or send death threats to people who dare critique her.

Notice how I said that Beyonce is the most recognizable, not the most successful or most popular. I say this because by many standards she is not the most popular. She isn’t even the most popular female artist right now…hell, she isn’t even the most popular black female artist right now. Taylor Swift, Adele (with only three albums compared to Beyonce’s six), and Rihanna have all sold tens of millions more albums than Beyonce. The Beyhive is loyal, but not loyal enough to go out and buy the record I guess. In fact, Beyonce’s best selling album is…her first one, Dangerously in Love, her second best selling album is her second album, B’day, with I Am…Sasha Fierce close behind. Her fourth album, 4 performed abysmally and is easily her worst selling album to date. Her self-titled album trails her first three in sales and Lemonade has sold half the amount of that one. You wouldn’t know it based on the hype, but Beyonce’s music is actually getting less popular as far as album sales go.

Even at her peak, Beyonce has never had a best selling album of the year.  And she’s only been the best selling female once in 2014 when she came in second behind the Frozen soundtrack…so in a way she still wasn’t the best selling female artist. She’s rarely ever the best selling artist in her genre of female R&B/Pop having been beaten out by Rihanna, Christina Aguilera, Fergie, Mary J Blige, and more throughout the years. Her fame is actually very strange when you look at the sales of her main product – music. After her Coachella performance some people had the audacity to call her the greatest pop star of all time – yes, even ahead of Michael Jackson. Beyonce doesn’t even have an album in the fifty highest selling of all time! And it might surprise you to learn who does grace that list…Kenny G, Jewel, Boyz II Men, and Hootie and the Blowfish. Maybe not so surprisingly the list also includes Prince, Whitney Houston (twice), Bob Marley, Adele, Fleetwood Mac, and of course Michael Jackson at number one. Plenty of female representation, plenty of black representation, plenty of R&B/Pop representation…and no Beyonce.

As far as touring stats go, Beyonce is no slouch and pulls in big numbers. Alas, she still does not make the list of Top 20 grossing tours of all time (Celine Dion and Madonna x2 make the list). Her most successful “Formation” World Tour ranks 15th in top grossing tours of the 2010s.

I’ve established that the talk doesn’t match the walk when it comes to Beyonce fandom but granted album sales aren’t everything. Queen doesn’t have any of the Top 50 selling albums of all time and I argue Freddie Mercury is one of the most talented people to walk this earth on a regular basis. So what about Beyonce’s talent? Well she is stunningly beautiful, but that’s not really talent, more so good genes. She doesn’t play an instrument but she has a nice voice. She has a really good voice…but is she Whitney? Hell no. Is she ‘90s era Mariah? Absolutely not. And even right now we all know who the best pop singer is…I hate to bring her up again…but that’s Adele. Honestly, I’ve never heard someone make the “Beyonce has the greatest voice ever” argument so I won’t spend much time refuting it.

Then there’s real talent, learned and honed-in talent: music composing, lyric writing, choreography…things you can have a knack for but take lots of work to hone in. Beyonce’s not known for her producing and “beat making” ability like Kanye or Pharrell. She doesn’t play an instrument like Alicia Keys. She is frequently listed as a co-writer on her songs but when one of the songs she “co-wrote” was nominated for an Oscar but only three people could be listed as co-writers, her name was removed…But really, does she want to take credit for stuff like the garbage listed below. Lyrics for “ApeShit,” her single with Jay-Z that she co-wrote and co-produced:

[Chorus: Beyoncé & Quavo]
Stack my money fast and go (fast, fast, go)
Fast like a Lambo (skrrt, skrrt, skrrt)
I be jumpin’ off the stage, ho (jumpin’, jumpin’, hey, hey)
Crowd better save her (crowd goin’ ape, hey)
I can’t believe we made it (this is what we made, made)
This is what we’re thankful (this is what we thank, thank)
I can’t believe we made it (this a different angle)
Have you ever seen the crowd goin’ apeshit? Rah!

[Verse 1: Beyoncé & Quavo]
Gimme my check, put some respek on my check
Or pay me in equity (pay me in equity)
Watch me reverse out of debt (skrrt)
He got a bad bitch, bad bitch
We livin’ lavish, lavish
I got expensive fabrics
I got expensive habits
He wanna go with me (go with me)
He like to roll the weed (roll the weed)
He wanna be with me (be with me)
He wanna give me that vitamin D (D!)
Ice ornaments, icy style tournaments (woo)
You ain’t on to this (no)
Don’t think they on to this (no)

These are obviously horrible lyrics by an honest person’s standard. If you’re not sure, try saying them out loud. Good lyrics read like a poem even without music…these read like a teenager’s first attempt at rapping. At this point though, Beyonce doesn’t even have to try to write good music; anything she releases is praised as some sort of revelation.

Another thing Beyonce is known for is her dancing. I am not professionally trained but I do enjoy watching dance and can tell when something requires skill to execute. Beyonce’s dancing for the most part, does not. There is little footwork and it’s mostly bending over, shaking her ass, and whipping her hair around. Ciara is more athletic when it comes to dance and Janet Jackson has much, much, much, better choreography that she actually does herself unliked Beyonce who has a team of choreographers. One could argue Madonna had more revolutionary choreography than Beyonce. Are you rage typing “Single Ladies” into YouTube right now? It’s a fun dance, I’ll give you that, but not difficult, not choreographed by Beyonce, and not original!

But it’s her brand you say! Beyonce has the power to sell and influence beyond music. Well she dabbled in movies, and while Dreamgirls was a hit, let’s be honest, Jennifer Hudson is the reason why. Following Dreamgirls, Cadillac Records and Obsessed were both panned by the critics. Her women’s athletic wear brand, Ivy Park, which is literally normal-looking sweatshirts, t-shirts, leggings, and bras that say “Ivy Park”- such design genius – sold out upon its original release in 2016, but since then you haven’t heard much about the brand. Athletica and Lululemon continue to dominate the space with Adidas becoming a larger player. Kate Hudson’s Fabletics and Prana are doing very well too. On the other hand, I struggle to find any information on how Ivy Park sales are going right now.

“Well Beyonce empowers young women, especially black women so I don’t care about all that other stuff.” Does she though? Empowers means give someone the authority to do something which granted, Beyonce can’t really do, or make someone stronger and more confident which is the “Beyonce empowers” I assume people are referring to. I want to ask how exactly Beyonce empowers women? How many girls lacking self-confidence watch Beyonce sing “Formation” on stage and think, “Wow, now I have the confidence to open that restaurant I’ve been too afraid to pursue”? How many young girls look at Beyonce and Jay-Z’s relationship and go “that’s the true definition of a loving and devoted marriage; that’s what I’ll model mine after.” Or in reality, how many girls follow one of the most beautiful women on the planet, on instagram with her lavish lifestyle, constantly changing hair styles, and outrageous designer clothes and pursue shallow beauty standards because of it?

Beyonce’s lyrics aren’t empowering. The vast majority of her music is about sexing up a boyfriend. I’m sorry but repeating “Who runs the world, girls” over and over again does not make anyone a stronger woman. If Beyonce really wanted to help young black people, she’d sing about graduating from high school, acquiring and keeping a job and getting faithfully married before having babies. If Beyonce wanted to help black people build better relationships she’d sing about finding a partner who shares your values, is conservative with their money, and treats you with respect. Instead relationships in her songs are all about having sex and spending lots of money. Don’t get me wrong, the former is certainly important in a relationship but a good marriage is about more than physical attraction. Being a “bad bitch” is not the key to a fulfilling, healthy relationship.

The “I’ma strong woman and so are you” bit has proved ineffective in shifting black culture to more prosperous ways of living. Despite Beyonce’s huge audience and influential power she doesn’t talk to black people about improving the culture or really anything. She’s somewhat notorious for not giving opinions. She just collects your money and goes back to her mansion(s).

Beyonce has made some catchy tunes, especially earlier in her career. “Love on Top” and “Sweet Dreams” are great pop songs. (Love on Top is probably my favorite music video of hers too.) Are they a display of incredible talent and skill? No. But they’re what pop music should be. What Beyonce is not is a visionary talent revolutionizing art. What Beyonce is not is a positive black influencer. What Beyonce is not, is a god. She’s a pop star, and she should be treated as such.

0 What Even is Fair Trade?

  • June 25, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · Health and Fitness · Thought Box · Wellness

Fair trade is awesome. No, not the kind Trump talks about where trade deficits are bad and trade wars are awesome. What I and other hipsters who use the term fair trade mean is a product produced in a way deemed ethical and…well, fair. There are various fair trade certificates and organizations all differing slightly on what their standard of “fair” is. This is why using those stamps of approval are useful but it’s also worth thinking about your own ethical standard. What I define as fair might be a little different than you but for the most part fair trade for everyone refers to fair wages for those involved in the making of said product, fair working conditions, sustainable practices (does the product create a lot of waste and/or have an unjustified effect on the environment) and were animals abused in the making of the product. Seems pretty simple but there are many companies that don’t meet this standard, only meet it halfway, or don’t have the same definition of fair that I do. Below is how I personally, define each of these standards.

The makers of the product are paid a fair wage.
The makers of the product are paid according to the value they add to the company. This will vary country to country and it doesn’t necessarily mean they must be paid more than minimum wage. I don’t think minimum wage for a fast food cook is unfair but I do think minimum wage for a fast food manager is unfair. Perhaps you disagree with this standard but that’s the cool thing about a free market, you can buy according to your values and I to mine. Any product that’s made in America meets this standard for me. I believe America is a free enough place that employees are generally paid what they are worth and have the option to find better work if they believe they are treated unfairly. There are resources to learn more about fair wages around the world and you can find them here.

The makers of the product work in decent conditions.
What I mean by this is that no one is forced to work extreme hours at threat of losing their job if they refuse. Workers are also in air conditioned facilities or heated facilities if necessary. And this should go without saying but workers are not physically punished for messing up something on the job.
I also avoid products with chemicals in them in order to meet this standard. Even in the U.S. employees work with chemicals without even realizing the damage they are causing to themselves until years later. I also avoid meat products, especially from factory farms because of the negative effects breathing in all the fumes and dealing with animal waste can have. Check out this link for more info on the negative effects of factory farms on employees. Any product involving chemicals often have adverse effects on workers. Perhaps the best example of this is pesticides and farm workers. You can read more on that here. Chemical free and BPA free are things I look out for when buying stuff.

Sustainable practices.
This one was a huge reason why I gave up meat. As more and more people around the world adopt the American diet or westernized diet rather, we will need more and more land to raise the animals. There simply isn’t enough land on Earth to feed 7 billion people a animal centered diet. There also isn’t a good way to get rid of all the waste these animals create. You can read more about the sustainability of an animal based diet here.
When it comes to non-food products I am really not too picky. They don’t have to be green certified but I don’t want them dumping waste in rivers. In fact, a lot of companies will forgo the vegan/green/fair trade stamps because those usually cost money to apply for and they don’t want to transfer the cost to their customers which I totally get and appreciate. So don’t disregard a product simply because it doesn’t have the stamp you are accustomed to seeing.
It’s also a plus when the materials used to make the product are biodegradable, reusable etc. I try to avoid plastic when I can

Cruelty free.
Companies will always brag about this so it’s usually not hard to figure out. I am not against using rats in lab tests per say but animal testing can get out of control pretty quick. PETA gets a lot of shit, most of which they deserve, but when it comes to animal testing they make a strong case.
*With all these guidelines you have to be careful. Often companies will claim to be fair trade or green or cruelty free etc. because those who put the product together meet all these guidelines. Sometimes the people sewing the shoes together are treated well but the people who cultivate the shoe materials aren’t. Just something to keep in mind.

I started focusing on more ethical shopping funny enough, because of my capitalistic values. The trade part of fair trade actually drew me in just as much as the fair part. I realized I alone was responsible for the consequences of my actions and that through a free market system I could tell companies what was and wasn’t acceptable with every dollar I spent. Your value system might not be the same as mine, but I still encourage you to shop along your moral compass. People often tell me they feel helpless when they shouldn’t. The organic product market is expected to grow 14% from 2017 to 2021, from 2004 to 2016 Fairtrade International product revenue grew roughly 835%, sales of plant based food went up 8.1% last year and continues to grow, the natural (chemical free) beauty industry is seeing sales increase every year with growth at 7% outpacing overall industry growth and Jessica Alba famously became a billionaire almost overnight after starting The Honest Company.
This growth isn’t because companies just felt like it, it’s because their customers demanded it. A lot of my fellow naturalists claim to hate capitalism, but it’s the fuel creating massive change across all industries. You say something every time you buy something and businesses are listening. Compassionate capitalism isn’t a real economic term, but if it were, I suppose it would look like shopping fair trade.

1 Appropriation is Awesome

  • May 17, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · Thought Box

People have been taking “cultural appropriation” way too far. By people, I mean the American left which has lead the mission to yell at, bully, and belittle anyone who participates in anything that wasn’t created by their ethnic group. White people aren’t allowed to make burritos, only black people should rap and in a recent example of cultural appropriation idiocy, a high school girl was shamed on Twitter for wearing a Chinese dress (and wearing it well I might add) to her prom. Thank goodness I am half-white and half-black and therefore allowed to dip into two different cultures.

So what exactly is cultural appropriation? It’s often described as someone adopting from a culture that is not his or her own – a hairstyle, a piece of clothing, a manner of speaking, even a type of exercise (yoga, for example). Everyday feminism takes this a step further explaining that cultural appropriation takes place when a dominant group borrows from a culture they have oppressed. It doesn’t matter if you specifically have never oppressed said group, just that someone of your same ethnicity has. Neither of these definitions seem inherently evil to me but whichever definition you use, cultural appropriation is confusing from the start.

First, let’s look at the broader definition of cultural appropriation. Take something from someone else’s culture and you’re appropriating. This means if your culture didn’t invent a style of dance, you should not participate. Well, white people invented tap dancing. If you’re familiar with the history of tap dance you might say nuh-uh, tap dancing was invented by blacks in the south. I’d say you’re right but tap was actually an appropriation of Irish clogging. Poor Irish and poor blacks lived amongst each other in the south. Both groups were discriminated against and faced socio-economic struggles. (Thomas Sowell’s Black Rednecks and White Liberals explains this in more detail.) The two groups ended up borrowing quite a bit from each other. It’s just fact that blacks appropriated the Irish clog to create tap and I’m glad they did…But that’s appropriation so I guess only the Irish should be allowed to tap. If blacks can’t participate in tap dance, we never would have had Savion Glover, quite possibly the best tap dancer who ever lived. Please take a minute to watch him here; he truly is astounding. Ballet certainly isn’t a part of African culture, so say goodbye to Misty Copeland too. If Hip-Hop is a black-American invention then someone better call Channing Tatum and tell him to stop dancing. Classical music isn’t rooted in Asian culture so forget about Yo-Yo Ma. Opera began in Italy so if you ain’t Italian don’t even bother. Flutes originated in China so literally every kid in my high school band’s flute section was way out of line.

The arts are an easy one to pick on but you can apply this to nearly any piece of the human experience. There would be great losses in our cultural advancement if people weren’t allowed to cross cultural lines. Weren’t we all told as kids that copying is the greatest form of flattery? If someone uses something from your culture to create something new, they most certainly respect your culture. If they didn’t, why would they use it? Now if a white person makes a dream catcher and says “hey, I invented this” I could see the issue but that is rarely, if ever the case in these instances of “cultural appropriation.”

But SJWs think they got ya on the second definition of cultural appropriation, the one that says only oppressors can appropriate meaning white people can’t participate in any culture that isn’t their own, but black people, who are the most oppressed, can borrow from any culture they want. (Actually Jews are the most oppressed, but that’s a topic for another day.) The problem with this idea is that it really only hurts minorities. Ok, so now white people can only wear jeans and eat italian food..not really a big deal. But that authentic taco stand? You just lost all your white customers. Black rappers? You just lost 70-75% of your audience. The UFC would not only see a huge drop in ratings; (can’t have white people viewing mixed martial arts) they would lose quite a few athletes as well, with Dana White following them out the door. His name is literally White! How much more offensive can you be??!!!

I realized that cultural appropriation had gone way too far when some of my friends admired a dress I have. It is a beautiful, colorful, handmade dress. I bought it from an online shop that sells dresses made by African artisans. My friends ranted and raved about the dress so much that I asked one of them why she didn’t just buy one for herself. She told me she was afraid if she did people would get mad because she is white. And you know what, she’s probably not wrong; someone might get mad. But the person who gets mad that a white woman supported a black designer is an absolute fool.

Why would you want to prevent 77% of the American population from purchasing goods made by minorities? Do you want minority culture in the U.S. to disappear, because without the white man’s dollar most culture-based businesses will fail. Do you not want white people helping uplift merchants in third world countries out of poverty by supporting their craft? It breaks my heart thinking about the dollars those African dress makers are missing out on because white women have been bullied into fear of celebrating the beauty of something not their own.

So appropriate, I say! Without it, we wouldn’t have tap dance or blues or MMA or ice cream cones or me! If you’re worried about it still, just follow these rules:

  1. Give credit where credit is due.
    Don’t claim you created something you didn’t.
  2. Don’t wildly misrepresent a culture.
    Don’t claim you’re giving props to Native-Americans when you’re in a skimpy outfit with feathers and just want to dress provocatively.

That’s pretty much it. Be respectful but be a sponge. If Drake isn’t proof we need more cross-cultural appropriation, I don’t know what is.

0 All-Natural Homemade Body Scrub

  • April 24, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Health and Fitness · Wellness

While I never had great skin, I also never had horrible skin..until I was around 23 and my skin got bad. I have searched for pictures of me during that time but I really didn’t take any unless I was wearing a full face of makeup. I have no idea what caused the sudden breakouts, there wasn’t a diet change, stressful time, getting on or off birth control or any of the other go-to explanations.

The acne was also in a weird spot, all over my cheeks. Before 23, on the occasion I did get acne it was usually in my “t-zone,” through the center of my face and across the forehead. The whole all over my cheeks thing was new. It was very puzzling. I tried different remedies from your average drugstore cleansers to prescribed medicine. None of it was super effective and then my friend told me about salt and sugar scrubs.

Apparently store bought exfoliants cause tiny cuts in your skin which then get infected. These little red infections have you thinking you still have acne when in fact you have gotten rid of the acne (or some of it) only to gain a new red bump problem. My friend told me her dermatologist suggested an oil based scrub with either salt or sugar. I was desperate so I tried it…and it worked! I swear by the stuff and have played around with different oils, salts and sugars to find the perfect combo for my skin and hopefully this blog helps you find yours! The recipe is really simple, it’s just finding the right combo that can be time consuming.

All Natural Scrub
1/2 cup oil
1 cup sugar or salt
¼ cup whatever you didn’t use in the full cup
5 – 10 drops essential oil of your choosing
½ lemon juice

Picking an Oil
This is the most important decision in this recipe. Different oils do different things. Personally I have tried almond, walnut, avocado, olive, and grapeseed oil. None of them were bad but walnut and grapeseed have been my personal favorites. You have different skin than me though so read below for your best option.

Dry Skin – Avocado, Almond, Castor, Macadamia, Olive, Apricot
Oily Skin – Grapeseed, JoJoba, Sunflower, Safflower, Rosehip
Sensitive Skin – Avocado, JoJoba
Balanced/Normal Skin – Almond, Grapeseed, Coconut, Jojoba, Rosehip, Apricot

Throughout my research on the internet the below oils have come up but there has never been enough consensus for me to confidently list them in a category. That being said, it doesn’t mean they aren’t worth trying:

  • Primrose
  • Walnut
  • Pomegranate
  • Pumpkin
  • Hemp
  • Sesame
  • Plum

*Notice walnut oil is on this list but it’s one of the oils I really like!

Picking a Scrubber
Salt or Sugar? You can do mostly salt with some sugar like I do, mostly sugar with some salt or all salt or all sugar. It really depends on your needs.

Salt
Salt is a harsher scrub because it’s granule edges are sharper. This may bother you if your skin is sensitive but it can also make a great exfoliant for people with dry flaky skin. Even if you opt for sugar because your face is sensitive, generally, salt is what’s recommended for the rest of your body especially your feet and hands.=

As far as choosing a salt goes. I like to use non-iodized salt mainly because iodization to salt was introduced in 1924 as a way to help with iodine deficiency in the diet. Nowadays, most people get plenty of iodine in their regular diet and I am not cooking with it so why use it?! Plus, sea salt often has trace amounts of natural iodization anyway. Furthermore, non-iodized salts sometimes contain small amounts of minerals such as calcium, magnesium, potassium, copper and iron. These help promote circulation, reduce the inflammatory response, and act as a detoxifying agent and general muscle relaxant. I kill two birds with one stone by using non-iodized sea salt. I like it fine grain to make it a little less abrasive on my skin. Bottom line, it really doesn’t matter what type of salt you use though you may want to be weary of commercial salts that could have trace amounts of aluminium in them which some have linked to alzheimer’s.

Sugar
Sugar is softer so it is better for people with sensitive skin or those who don’t know if they have sensitive skin and want to ease into the scrub life. Sugar also moisturizes more where salt does not making it great for dry skin that is also sensitive. BUT with sugar you miss out on the extra minerals.

I like to either use coconut palm sugar (the darker brown sugar) or cane juice crystals. The coconut sugar is slightly more moisturizing than the cane sugar, it also comes in a lot of variations in terms or coarseness. The smell of the coconut sugar is very strong. It smells good but it makes adding essential oils kind of pointless since I mainly do that to add a nice fragrance. Like salt, your choice in sugar doesn’t matter a ton.

Scrubber Conclusions
If you have sensitive skin and/or dry skin or simply want a soft scrub, go sugar. If you really want to exfoliate and/or have oily skin go salt.

Extras
Lemon and essential oil are not necessary but they are a nice touch. Like I said before you can “flavor” your scrub with whatever essential oil you like. Tea tree is a favorite of mine because I love the smell and tea tree oil has acne fighting components. Lemon juice also has been linked to helping fight acne.

1 Stop Pretending Sex is the Same for Men and Women

  • April 20, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · Thought Box

Biological differences between men and women matter. Because of biological differences men tend to be bigger and stronger. Because of biological differences women tend to be smaller and more flexible. Women tend to be more focused on people, men tend to be more focused on “things.” Men tend to like solving finite problems and women tend to like artistic challenges. This isn’t my opinion, these are facts based on evolutionary and biological research. As I’ve said many a time, men and women are different and that’s a beautiful thing.

It’s concerning that modern culture (starting in the 60s but really becoming a mainstream train of thought in the 90s) doesn’t recognize this when it comes to sex. TV shows, movies, books, blogs, magazines are all telling us that sex is exactly the same for men and women. What I mean is that promiscuity, one-night-stands and casual sex were once thought to have been something more sought after by men. Now we’re told that women should celebrate their participation in any of the above as well. Instead of teaching men that maybe they should be a little more like women when it comes to sexual activity, we teach women they should be more like men. At the same time, we’re told men are pigs! If that’s the case then why is the response for women to act more like men when it comes to sex?

In a perfect world, we would all live perfect sexually moral lives. In a perfect world, you could have the same conversation about sex with your son as you would your daughter. But it’s not a perfect world and people certainly aren’t perfect. Sex is different for men and women and there’s plenty of research to back up this statement.

Pregnancy
The most obvious difference between the sexes, is that women can become pregnant. Condoms don’t always work, hormonal birth control doesn’t always work; I know of women who have gotten pregnant while using either of these contraceptives. The only way to insure you don’t get pregnant is to not have sex. The maternal death rate in the United States is around 17 deaths per 100,000 births and pregnancy also has other life changing complications. Pregnancy takes a toll on a woman’s body and is not something to be taken lightly even when planned.

If a woman conceives she can’t keep it a secret for long like a man can because a man can’t conceive. Even if a woman decides to have an abortion, there are potential side effects, including the mother’s death in some cases. If a mother wants to give the baby up for adoption, the act of carrying a life and giving birth to a baby adds an additional emotional wrinkle that sometimes leads to a mother changing her mind after initially agreeing to an adoption. Pregnancies (especially unplanned) can lead to emotional consequences that women endure but men can avoid.

For this reason my dad’s advice to my brother and I was “don’t have sex with anyone you couldn’t do business with.” I say he told this to my brother but I actually don’t know if he did but he certainly said it to me on more than one occasion. Why me and not my brother? Because it is more relevant to me. If I get pregnant and I keep the baby, I am 1) forever connected to the baby’s father even if we are not in a relationship and 2) more locked into the responsibility than he is.  From conception, the mother is literally and therefore emotionally more connected to the baby, making it harder for her to run away from the responsibility.

I do know that my father told my brother, if you get a girl pregnant, you’re pregnant too, (metaphorically) but in reality, we all know that especially in the baby’s early years, from breastfeeding to dirty diapers, the mother does much of the heavy lifting.

Injuries
Believe it or not, sex related injuries are a fairly common occurrence. Did you know 30% of women report having pain or discomfort the last time they had sex? This compared to only 5% of men. The pain could be due to a variety of factors including vaginal tearing, yeast infections and urinary tract infections. The main injury men get from sex that women don’t is a broken penis. Sounds pretty serious but it is extremely uncommon. To give you some perspective, In 13 years of analyzing medical records in a region with over 3 million people…researchers found only 42 patients with confirmed penile fractures. Yeast infections alone effect over 75% of women in their lifetime.

Forget pregnancy, sex is just more likely to cause overall discomfort for women.

Sexual Standards
While everyone who’s interacted with men and women know this, for some reason its controversial to say: men and women are different emotionally when it comes to sex. And there are countless studies to back this up.

The median number of sexual partners for a woman in America is three, while it’s five for a man. And let’s be real here, when it comes to gender, which one has an easier time finding someone willing to go to bed with them? I know very few females who couldn’t come home with a guy every Friday night if they wanted to. I know males who try to come home with a female every Friday night and fail most of the time. The standard for the average woman is higher than the standard for the average man. Most women report they do not marry the man who gave them “the best sex of their life,” but instead look for a loving, multi-dimensional relationship.

This theory has been tested in other experiments where a male and female walk around asking complete strangers if they would have sex with them. 75% of males agreed to have sex with a complete stranger where 0% of women agreed. This was the biggest gender difference ever discovered in psychological science. In a less scientific, but still fun version of this experiment, some YouTubers repeated the experiment finding less than 1% of women agreed to have sex with a stranger compared to 30% of men. Clearly, men are a little more eager to engage in casual sex than women, but why is that?

Emotional Differences
You may think women aren’t as into casual sex because of safety concerns, fear of pregnancy, or fear of being discovered but studies have also found that even when men and women are surveyed on the basis that none of the above concerns would be an issue, women are still far less interested in casual sex than men. Still think patriarchy is to blame? Researchers have found that in the most egalitarian societies the difference in the desire for promiscuity between gender actually grows larger. Furthermore, across all societies on Earth, even the least patriarchal, women always are less interested in casual sex.

Researchers have also found that men are far more interested in a two women, one man threesome versus a woman being interested in any threesome combination. Men are also more likely to have fantasies about short term sexual relationships. Men imagine having sex with more partners than women. Men spend more on prostitutes, strippers and porn..need I go on? This seems like common sense stuff to me, but I have to cover my bases.

So why do women crave longer term relationships? Why do women yearn for romance over cheap lust? Why is it that 84% of romance novel readers are women and romantic comedies are aptly nicknamed “chick flicks.” Because men and women process emotions differently.

Studies using brain imaging and blood tests have found that men are less reactionary to negative emotions because negative signals spend more time in the part of their brains associated with reasoning. A study out of Institut universitaire en santé mentale de Montréal and the University of Montreal looked at the amygdala (the brain’s threat detector) and the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex (the brain’s regulator of perception, reasoning and emotional regulation) and saw that these two areas interacted more with men when they viewed negative images compared to women.

Coauthor Stéphane Potvin, an associate professor at University of Montreal’s department of psychiatry, said in a press release:

“A stronger connection between these areas in men suggests they have a more analytical than emotional approach when dealing with negative emotions. It is possible that women tend to focus more on the feelings generated by these stimuli, while men remain somewhat ‘passive’ toward negative emotions, trying to analyze the stimuli and their impact.”

Ok, so that explains why perhaps women tend to be more feelings focused. (Not a bad thing by the way.) But why does sex make us (especially women) get all emotional? While I have my own spiritual theories, the science isn’t conclusive. But, sex does appears to have a much longer lasting emotional effect on women.

A study done by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention found that as a woman’s number of sexual partners went up before marriage, so did her likelihood of divorce. Women with over ten sexual partners are most likely to divorce while the odds of divorce are lowest amongst those women with one or zero premarital sex partners. The same is not said in regards to men, meaning marital success doesn’t seem to correlate with the number of partners the man has had before marriage. However, both men and women report more satisfaction with their sex life the fewer number of sexual partners they’ve had.

We all know intuitively that sex affects men and women differently, both physically and mentally. Why do so many pretend we have the same attitude? And if we’re choosing to push one attitude over the other why are we pushing the male attitude towards sex on women instead of the other way around?! Virtually all data shows that the fewer sexual partners you have, the more fulfilling your relationships will be.

If someone gives different advice to a female when it comes to sex as opposed to a male, don’t call them a sexist, perhaps they are simply acknowledging that sex has different consequences for men and women, which isn’t sexist at all. Perhaps they’re aware that a woman has more to lose every time she engages in sexual activity.

I’m not saying everyone must wait ‘til marriage or they’re doomed. But be picky about who you sleep with. Not only should it be a privilege for someone to go dancing in the sheets with you, it should contribute to a romantic connection you and your partner are both equally interested in pursuing and maintaining.

 

0 The Surprise Success of A Quiet Place

  • April 9, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · Thought Box

While no one predicted A Quiet Place to be a failure, in its opening weekend it surpassed expectations. Opening at number one, the movie raked in $50 million, when Hollywood predicted that optimistically it would bring just $25 million. A 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and word of mouth is thought to have helped boost attendance. Ryan Reynolds, Stephen King and high-profile people aplenty are singing its praises. I was one of the people helping to spread the word.

I am a big Emily Blunt fan and, like everyone else, I have watched every episode of The Office. I was excited to see the real life couple work together for the first time, and while this isn’t the first movie John Krasinski has directed, it would be the first one I watched. I spread the word because it had good reviews and I wanted to support the actors involved.

Last Friday, opening weekend, I watched the movie. If you’re unfamiliar with the premise it’s about a family, Lee (played by Krasinski), Evelyn (played by Blunt) and their children, living in a post-apocalyptic world where monsters hunt anything living, but only by sound. Make a noise and they’re on you within seconds. A review I read said to watch it in a crowded theatre (and he was right). I really liked the movie. It wasn’t terrifying like I thought it would be but was good for reasons I didn’t expect.

*Spoilers Below*
A Quiet Place has surprisingly conservative undertones. The structure of the family is traditional. By that I mean the mom is feminine and the father is masculine. The dad is the protector and the provider while the mother is the homemaker and the teacher. Very early in the film, the family loses their youngest son. They’re walking home in a line and suddenly the boy starts playing with a loud toy. Evelyn, who is closer than Lee turns around and starts crying. It’s Lee, who is farther away, who sprints as fast as he can towards his child supposedly to try to push him out-of-the-way so he can be killed by the monsters instead. Evelyn isn’t a bad parent for not running towards her child; perhaps she’s the smarter parent because there is nothing any of them can do except potentially get killed. But Lee is a man, and traditionally it’s men who run towards a fight.

Femininity is needed as well. Lee is obsessed with protecting his family and figuring out how to kill the monsters. It’s fun seeing all the clever ways they have set up their home in order to communicate, protect themselves, and survive. That being said, the man is stressed. You can’t really blame him for this but it’s Evelyn who calms him down. She pulls him away from his desk and they enjoy a tender romantic moment slow dancing while listening to music through headphones. Evelyn also calms her son down when he’s extremely nervous about going to get fish with his dad. Evelyn is the calm in the storm, even when she’s not calm. Women are generally the calming force in a family and that is certainly the case in A Quiet Place.

Speaking of bringing the son to fish, my brother and I argued about whether Lee bringing his son out to fish and leaving his daughter who wanted to go was a gender-based decision or not. I don’t think it was, but my brother does. Evelyn tells her son that Lee wants to teach him how to take care of her. At first look I would agree, this is a gender based decision. But the sister is deaf and has a history of not listening. The truth is, the daughter is a liability in more ways than one, so I see why you may not want to take her out on an excursion into monsterland. Lee does tap into his son’s masculine side later in the film when at first his son refuses to run across a field. Only when Lee tells him his mother needs his help does the boy’s attitude change, and it changes immediately.

Lee is short with the kids. He loves them but he’s all about survival while Evelyn brings warmth and meaning to the kids’ lives and her husband’s. You can tell a difference even in the way that they sign, Lee’s hands are harsh while Evelyn’s are somehow kinder. But you need both: without Lee they die, without Evelyn they want to die.

Children are sacred in this movie. Not only the born ones but the unborn. Evelyn is pregnant. You can see how in a movie all about staying as quiet as possible this could be a problem. First of all, why is she pregnant? Clearly these are smart people yet they didn’t use any condoms? They have access to condoms and in the timeframe they still wouldn’t’ve expired. This makes me think they chose to get pregnant as the bringing of new life is fundamental to their survival and humanity’s. This means they’ve decided life is still worth living and they have an obligation to contribute to the ongoing of mankind.

But maybe they got pregnant on accident. If there’s any situation in which an abortion would be ethical, it’s a world where everyone gets killed if a single sound is made. We see earlier in the movie that they have access to drugs in a nearby town. While a surgical abortion is out of the question there are certainly other ways to cause “miscarriages.” One might argue that an abortion or killing the child shortly after it’s born would be the ethical thing to do because a baby puts the whole family at risk. This seems to have never occurred to the family who set up an elaborate plan for Evelyn to give birth and take care of the baby.

Now it may seem like I’m making Evelyn’s character out to be a weak, simple woman. She isn’t. At the end of the movie she is the first and only person to actually take out one of the monsters and she does so when it’s inches away from killing all three of her children. Not only does she kill the monster, she had the calm to wait to shoot the perfect shot, knowing other monsters would be on them at the noise. The mother figure isn’t weak, just feminine, and it’s modern day feminists who conflate those two terms. The woman has a baby with no drugs while being chased by monsters. Ain’t nothing weak about that, but is there anything more feminine than giving birth? There’s nothing more important to her than protecting her children; she literally tells Lee this in the film.

Because the family operates in this traditional way, they are believable and because they are believable, you emotionally invest in them. This movie made me care about the survival of the family more than I usually do for any type of film but especially when you talk about the thriller genre.

Feminism (in its current form) is all fine and dandy in theory, but when surviving is the goal, it’s simply not sustainable and Krasinski clearly knows this based on the direction of the movie. To make a film where women are just as strong as men or men are comforting in the same way as women wouldn’t be telling the truth. A woman isn’t going to be able to race through the woods carrying a kid for as long or as fast as a man. A man isn’t going to have as much patience teaching young kids as a woman has. Of course these are generalizations, but they’re generalizations with statistical significance. To get away from that, like so many recent movies have, is to ignore the truth.

Even in a hellish world there is nothing more beautiful than life. Humans are wired to protect life under a certain dynamic. That dynamic is man and woman, mother and father, feminine and masculine. A Quiet Place hits that nail right on the head.

3 Questions from an Atheist: From Believer to Skeptic

  • April 3, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Philosophy/Religion · Thought Box

As an atheist or agnostic thinking about whether or not God exists, most of us have the same questions or hang ups. Any apologetic will tell you it’s rare they hear a question they’ve never heard before. Despite humans having contemplated faith for thousands of years, many of which determining yes, God does indeed exist, non-believers often believe they have the “Gotcha” question no believer can logically answer. Like I said when I wrote about my literal coming to Jesus, it’s kind of arrogant. I was one of the arrogant, with science and faith being my biggest hangup, which is probably the most common argument I come across.

Having the science vs Christianity debate actually gets kind of boring. Talking with people who think they’re so smart and you’re just a dumb Christian is fun at first, but I find there are actually bigger questions to be answered once you dig a little deeper. Skimming the surface of Christian doctrine gives evidence of compatibility with faith.

Recently I had a fun and different conversation with someone who was once a believer and now isn’t. He had a list of reasons why he had left God, some science related, others not. I am new to “apologetics” but I had a good time testing my own faith and knowledge by addressing his qualms. This will probably be a recurring piece on my blog as I believe it is good for everyone involved.

 

  • Is your version of the Bible correct?
    I have various versions of the Bible. By various I mean slightly different translations. That being said, all Bibles say virtually the same thing. They have the same message. Just like the various adaptations of the Cinderella story told in virtually every culture across the globe: they’re all slightly different, but the moral remains the same. However, it is a distant goal of mine to learn Hebrew or ancient Greek so I can read the Bible in its original form and hence its most accurate one.

 

  • How are God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit one yet separate? I.e. why would Jesus pray to himself?
    First we must unpack why there is even a trinity to begin with. I think C.S. Lewis has some wise words on this.

    On a one-dimensional level, you can have a straight line. On a two-dimensional level, those lines can be combined in ways they couldn’t conceive in a one-dimensional world, and they could form a square. Moving on, on a three-dimensional level, those squares can be combined in yet more inconceivable ways for anyone living in a one-or-two-dimensional world, and could form a cube.

    This trinity is a deeper or more complex level of living/existence. On Earth we are one dimensional. What I mean is one person is one being. You shoot me and only I die, I eat food and only I get full. Perhaps we get close to a two-dimensional existence when we marry someone and two become one; Evidence of this is when one’s spouse dies and a day later they die as well.

    Lewis suggests the doctrine of the Trinity describes a “higher kind of life,” where you can have “a being who is three persons while remaining one being, just as a cube is six squares while remaining one cube.”

    It’s difficult to wrap our heads around it, but the trinity is something for us to experience. Keep in mind that when we envision one, two and three we do so in terms of objects because we are physical beings but God is not physical, he is spiritual. God (the Father) is the one we pray to, God (the Holy Spirit) is the thing inside us urging us to pray, and God (the Son) is a bridge or road along which we are pushed to that goal. Humans are one being and one person. God is one being but three persons.

    Click here for a good explanation of the trinity.

 

  • How do you know if something is true? Through prayer? Through faith?
    This is a weird question to me cause it seems obvious. I know something is true if I have solid evidence that said thing is true, beyond a reasonable doubt. I have researched Christianity and have been convinced because of the evidence and compelling arguments apologetics make.

    Prayer may help with truth seeking, but praying something doesn’t make it true. Faith doesn’t define truth either, it is sort of a side effect of truth.

 

  • Where and how do you gain knowledge of God’s existence?
    For me it’s through research and a little bit of feeling. Although the further I grow in my relationship with God the more feeling based it becomes and I think that’s normal. I constantly have questions about God’s existence. I read books, look up blogs and listen to podcasts. I pray about my questions, literally something like “Heavenly Father I am having some issues understanding why the old testament was so violent. Can you help me find the resources to better understand you?” Every time I have found answers.

 

  • How can all religions be right? It must be then that they’re all wrong. There are hundreds of different Christian faiths all proclaiming to be the one.
    This is a weird paradox, if you’re not always right are you always wrong? Yes there are many religions and of course some of them are wrong. Hinduism and Christianity are wildly different so one of them must be wrong.

    When it comes to Christianity, sure there are many different sects but, just like different translations of the Bible they still say the same thing: “Jesus is the good news. He came, he died and now we are all saved.” Walk into any Christian church and that’s the message. The differences between churches are questions like, when should we baptize children? Should worship stay traditional or evolve? Even Catholicism which is its own genre of Christianity isn’t greatly different from protestant messaging. Jesus came, he saw, he died, hallelujah. Unity does not necessarily mean uniformity.

    Humans aren’t perfect so of course the messages in the Bible are interpreted imperfectly. Who has it perfect? I am not sure, I can only make my best guess. But there are many aspects of Christianity that almost every church agrees on.

    Now there are groups like Mormons who add their own layers to Christianity, leading some to claim Mormons aren’t even Christians. The thing about the Book of Mormon is that it doesn’t even come close to the level of verification that the Bible has been found to have over centuries. Potential books of the Bible have been left out because they weren’t found to be historically sound enough. Most notably is the Book of Thomas. Scholars regularly debate whether it should be added but it has continually failed to meet the levels of scrutiny needed to be included in the good book. Likewise, the Book of Mormon fails these tests.

 

  • Why do you believe the Bible to be the basis of morality? It condemns homosexuality, God hates sinners Psalms, Romans 1:18, John 3:36 etc
    This is the biggest part of my faith that is feelings based. As you have heard me say, without God there is no objective standard of good. I believe in an objective standard of good.

    Without an objective standard for good we get slavery, the holocaust, abortions on demand etc. Nations sat by and watched these things happen. Literally millions of people have been convinced that all these things are a good idea. Judeo/Christian thought is what brought down all of these travesties. (It hasn’t succeeding in bringing down mass abortion yet but I believe it will and one day we’ll look back on these days with shame.)

    People say morality is subjective but don’t think hard about what that means; subjective morality means evil is subjective too.

    If you have specific issues with things God doesn’t like such as homosexuality I’ll have to address those individually. But here’s what a lot of Christians get wrong in my opinion; They “power rank” sin when all sin is the same in God’s eyes. It’s important to make the distinction between God’s court and ours. We humans punish murder more harshly than petty theft as we should. It’s what our society needs in order to function. But God can forgive a murderer the same as a glutton.

    Therefore homosexuality is the same as theft or having sex before marriage, or even having sex with a condom. Why do some Christians focus on homosexuality? I think because it’s “abnormal” sin. A small percentage of the population has homosexual desires but we can all relate to jealousy, glutton, and general lust. Homosexuality is also a very public sin, it’s harder to hide. There are also certain traits common among gay men especially, that are easy to see. Oftentimes other people know a young guy is gay before he even realizes it. On the flip side, no one knows the jealousy I feel or what decisions I make based on selfishness. My sin is not as obvious.

    Religion is a relationship. I don’t know your relationship with God, I don’t know your conversations with God, I don’t know your struggles or what’s in your heart; that’s the same whether you’re gay or straight. I also don’t know what God does with gay people but I find it hard to believe we won’t see any in heaven. Jesus never talks about homosexuality. While I think it is sinful, I think a lot of things are sinful and I don’t think homosexuality is one of God’s greatest concerns. I also don’t think as a straight person I automatically have a leg up on a gay person. There are certainly gay Christians less sinful than I.

 

  • Why are there contradictions in the Bible? I thought it was the word of God, isn’t that perfect?
    The Bible is the word of God and his word is perfect, however, humans are not. When it comes to the Bible, context, interpretation and translation are huge. Sometimes things people throw out as contradictions actually aren’t. There are also different “genres” in the Bible to be interpreted and understood in different ways. Sometimes folks miss that. There are language conventions we have now that didn’t exist when the Bible was written. Regardless, there are no contradictions that I have ever found in the Bible that are irreconcilable. When you see two verses that are next to each other that don’t seem like they fit, well, someone thought they did belong next to each other so perhaps some further thought on why that is is worthwhile.

    People also mistake something taking place in the Bible with meaning it’s condoned by God. For example, in the old testament, Isaac, Abraham and Jacob, the heroes, have multiple wives. You may look at that and say what a contradiction! God condones polygamy in the old testament. But all those dudes are not exactly having a good time. Make sure when you’re reading the Bible you are understanding the narrative.

    Another example. People like to point out the difference between the gospels. This is probably the most common “contradiction” I hear about. Each gospel reports a different amount of women running to the tomb, a different number of angels, some include details some leave them out. Because of these “contradictions,” people say, aha! See this is all false. I read the differences and I think, wow this is probably true. Eye witness accounts never turn out the exact same, even if the event happened five minutes ago. This has been tested over and over again. If four people had the exact same memory of such a long, detailed event, that would be more suspicious to me.

    I try to figure out why one witness says it one way and another says it a different way. And there are lots of good theories backed by solid reasoning as to why the differences in the gospels exist. Again, look for narrative, not identical recounts.

 

  • Why can’t people perform miracles anymore? Are modern miracles dead?
    I think you’ll have to define what miracle means to you in order for me to answer this the way you want me to. But no, they aren’t.

 

  • Why does God kill people in the old testament?
    First, my theory: When we raise children, at first we’re extremely hands on. We are constantly correcting them. Usually through constant praise and constant punishment. Most well behaved children are raised this way. For me the punishment was physical in the form of spanking, but maybe it’s time out, getting toys taken away etc.  As your children get older you stay involved but you back off. Rare to see a 12 year old get spanked or a 15 year old put in timeout.

    Humanity is all of God’s children. In the old testament he was laying the foundation for all of mankind. He had to teach us what is wrong and right and He did that through punishment and reward. Very obvious, in your face punishment and reward. He had to in order to teach us how to be human. It seems obvious now that the Ten Commandments are a good thing but back in the day humans were a little more, for a lack of better words, savage. Early humans didn’t have thousands of years worth of philosophy and thought experiments like we do. But God didn’t like the punishment, that’s why Jesus came.

    But to put things more bluntly, God can kill whenever he wants. In fact, the only reason any of us die is because God wills it. God owes us nothing. But it’s also worth asking, why is God so merciful in the Old Testament.

 

  • Where are the prophets today?
    You aren’t going to like my first answer to this question but the Bible calls all believers in Christ prophets. In Acts 2:16-21, Peter declares that in the church this prophecy is now fulfilled. Every believer is led by the Holy Spirit to discern the truth (1 John 2:20, 27). Each believer is directed to admonish with the word of Christ (Col. 3:16), as well as to instruct (Rom. 15:14) and encourage other believers (Heb. 3:13).

    Prophecy in the New Covenant is defined as ideas, thoughts or understandings put into your head by God. So Christians might also pray for prophecy. Say I was going to debate you in front of a crowd on the likelihood of God. Before our debate started I might pray to God for prophecy, meaning profound understanding of the word and the means to accurately communicate it. So perhaps prophecy is revealed in that I give an example that relates directly to a thought you had that morning that I had no idea about. That’s modern prophecy.

    Like so many other things, the arrival of Jesus changed the role of prophets, rather it got rid of the need. You’ll notice in the New Testament Jesus’s followers are called apostles, not prophets. I believe this is because Jesus was the ultimate prophet. He gave us the word of God, straight from Him so what more do we really need at this point? There is no more “thus saith the lord” in the new testament. Perhaps there will be another prophet one day but there honestly isn’t a need for one in the traditional sense. We have all the instructions and guidance we need from God and that is mostly because of Jesus.

 

  • Why do you believe the Bible is the only book you need or that it has all the answers in life? That’s like saying everything you need to know in life you’ll learn in school.
    I believe the Bible is the only book you need in order to know your core purpose as a human and child of God. If you know your purpose then everything else follows. Because of what the Bible tells me I feel it is important for me to attend school and treat people well and do things that generally glorify God. So yes, the Bible is all I need.

 

0 Let’s Judge Movies by their Content, not Skin Color

  • March 28, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · In the News · Reviews · Thought Box

Insisting a certain group of people receive awards just so that group of people gets awards is one of the stupidest ideas Americans have right now. I touched on this in a piece I wrote in 2016 when the “Oscars So White” hashtag was gaining steam, but I now think the topic deserves more attention.

Before I go on I’d like to share some stats you may not know. Black people make up 12% of the population. So you might expect them to make up 12% of actors and 12% of Oscar winners. This means you would expect a black person to win one of the four Oscars for acting every 8.3 people. So presumably, two Oscar shows could go by without a single black person winning an acting award and it wouldn’t be anything to worry about. Since two black people won last year, statistically, you wouldn’t expect another black person to win until four or five Oscars from now given the population of America, all other things equal.

I enjoy seeing minorities and women succeed but the obsession with representation for representation’s sake depresses me. The demand for affirmative action in Hollywood or “inclusion riders” as Frances McDormand called for delegitimizes any actual success had by minorities or women. Now I’m going to wonder if I got the award because I’m good at what I do or because I’m a black female. Whatever happened to judging things by their merit alone? The number of blacks or gays or women in a film should have little to do with the grading of said film. Alas, criticism is now linked directly to diversity quotas, not actual talent.

Representation for Representation’s Sake
I feel like a broken record but Martin Luther King said it best, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” And that’s really all we can ask for, but instead, what is being asked is that a certain quota of demographics be met when casting a movie, writing a paper or producing any sort of art.

Earlier this month, Huffington Post editor Chloe Angyal bragged about meeting gender and racial quotas in the opinion page. My question is, so what? Are the opinion columns any good? Are they informative? Do they express a wide variety of opinions so readers can better understand the world around them? Of course she doesn’t mention quality, all that matters is the skin color and gender of those writing. Pretty racist I’d say.

Lately there has been a steady stream of movies directed by and starring black people that have received the highest honors and praises. I’m talking Moonlight, Get Out and Black Panther. While art is subjective I have seen all these movies and none of them have struck me as extraordinary. Before you freak out, let me tell you why.

Moonlight
This movie has an exclusively black cast and was written and directed by a black man. In 2017 Moonlight won Best Adapted Screenplay, Mahershala Ali won Best Supporting Actor and it won Best Picture over La La Land, Hacksaw Ridge and Arrival.

Moonlight is beautifully shot, and the acting is good. But the story itself, the meat of the movie, is empty. It’s 110 minutes when it could’ve been 30. If I were writing the description for the back of this movie it would say, “Kid in the inner city grows up with no father and a drug addicted mother to become a drug dealer himself. He’s also gay.” Read that description and you don’t need to watch the movie. We all know this story. The lead role being gay adds a wrinkle but it really doesn’t change the story much. You could replace the word gay with awkward, dorky or any other trait kids like to pick on and get the same movie. I am not trying to make little of what it’s like to be a gay black kid but I know of kids who took similar bullying for seemingly no reason at all. Bullies gonna bully, that’s just the way it is. There is no plot twist, the main character doesn’t overcome anything, you don’t finish the movie with a changed perspective on anything.  

Moonlight is a nice movie aesthetically but is it spectacular? Absolutely not.

Get Out
I really like this movie. I was on the edge of my seat, I squirmed a bit, I yelled “Noooo!”  It made me feel the things horror movies are supposed to make you feel. But it wasn’t unique. Jordan Peele is a smart guy but Get Out is just Stepford Wives but with black people instead of women. It’s not an exact copy but it’s very similar. And I’m fine with that, it’s ok to take good ideas and tweak them into even better ideas but let’s not pretend Jordan Peele rocked the world with this crazy new idea. I need not write about all the similarities between Get Out and Stepford Wives because other people have done it for me.

Get Out is a good movie, but it’s not a unique new idea.

Black Panther
Like the two movies above, this one is well done aesthetically and the acting is good but it’s not a unique story. My brother wrote about this in a comparison of Black Panther to Thor: Ragnarok. Furthermore, Black Panther is the battle between Martin Luther King and Malcolm X with T’Challa as MLK and Killmonger as Malcolm. This is the same battle of ideas the entire X-Men series is built around with Professor X as MLK and Magneto as Malcolm. There is no depth to the Black Panther plot, (spoiler alert) you know he will come back when he falls off the cliff, you know he will beat Killmonger in their final battle. Towards the end of the movie when T’Challa’s general was losing I whispered to my boyfriend, “here comes the Ape King with his people” and sure enough, they showed up and saved the day. Again, it’s a story that’s been told a million times and just because it’s with an all black cast this time it’s not better.

I was particularly blown away by people claiming Black Panther changed their life or made them proud to be black for once, or after watching it, now they know what they can achieve. This type of thinking is silly for so many reasons.

First of all, if you need to watch a pretend movie to feel proud of who you are I would suggest you have some psychological issues you should probably address. What someone else does, even if they look exactly like you has nothing to do with how you should feel about yourself. If you do need a little outside inspiration, I can point you in the direction of hundreds of papers and books about black people who have been doing awesome shit as far back as time has been recorded. And I mean real stuff. Not pretending to be a superhero.

But let us think critically about what black people are so proud of when it comes to Black Panther, Wakanda (the made up country in the movie) specifically. The people of Wakanda have great power by chance alone. A meteorite happened to hit their country and bring a magical metal that can literally do anything including power stuff, make armor and bring people back to life. Black people in the movie didn’t invent it, they didn’t earn it, they didn’t even win a war to get it. Pure chance. Is that something to really be proud of? Of course they live in a fantastic utopia. Any group of people would be if they had that magical element. And honestly, for having magic powers they really aren’t that far ahead of the rest of the world technology wise.

Furthermore, Wakanda is isolationist, they have strong borders, they don’t trade with anyone, (which would never create more prosperity in the real world, just ask Japan) they place high value on tradition, they have a huge, well trained army and they’re extremely spiritual…Does any of this sound familiar? According to how black people have voted in America for the past 50 years, they aren’t too keen on that philosophy, yet when it’s Wakanda it’s wonderful? I’m a little confused. No one’s bothered that Wakanda isn’t a democracy? The people don’t elect their leader and the only way the leader changes is if you can beat him in a fight? That seems pretty unfair.

I actually don’t care about any of that stuff though. You know why? It’s a SUPERHERO MOVIE. I don’t attend to have my mind blown, I attend to watch stuff get blown up. I don’t want the heroes to die. I want a fun movie that has some cool effects, maybe some funny lines and I don’t mind if a couple people fall in love in the process. I wouldn’t politicize this movie except that everyone else chose to so I feel the need to respond.

None of these movies are bad but at the same time none of them are particularly unique. One thing they all touch on, the issue amongst the black community that I have been screaming about for a long time. Fathers. The importance of them, especially for men.

In Moonlight the kid yearns for a father figure so bad he finds a nice drug dealer to fill the void. Because this kid has no father he doesn’t know how to fight or stand up for himself. Even at the end of the movie he still doesn’t know who he is.

In Get Out the main character doesn’t have a father and the loss of his mother scars him forever. Additionally, his girlfriend and her brother are messed up because of the sickening way the were raised in a home lead by the father.

We all know Killmonger would have turned out very different had his father been a different man. Killmonger didn’t have the example of what manhood looks like and losing his father at a young age rocked his world. On the flip side we see the result of a father instilling values and principles in a boy starting at a young age with T’Challa. Notice that T’Challa doesn’t turn to his mother for advice on how to be a man.

Claiming America is racist when it comes to black actors is just pure nonsense. America loves watching black people on the big screen. You know what actor has made the most money at the box office? Samuel L. Jackson at $5.149 Billion. Morgan Freeman is 4th on the list, Eddie Murphy is 7th, and Will Smith is 19th. 20% of the top 20 highest all time box office earners are black guys. An overrepresentation compared to the black population. When it comes to stand alone action/adventure movies (so not movies like Suicide Squad, Star Wars, Saw etc) three out of the top five grossing ones star black leads. Number one being American Sniper, followed by Independence Day (starring Will Smith), Get Out (starring Daniel Kuluuya), Twister, and Beverly Hills Cop (starring Eddie Murphy). If you don’t count Independence Day because they just made a sequel no big deal, that would move Hancock (starring Will Smith) into the 5th spot.

Most Americans don’t care who is entertaining them, they just want to be entertained. Black Panther was fun, Get Out was scary and Moonlight was nice to look at, but none of them were groundbreaking. Replace the black people with white people (or women in the case of Get Out) and see what I mean.

4 Where We Really Need Feminism

  • March 5, 2018
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · In the News · Philosophy/Religion · Thought Box

I’m a feminist. But according to women leading the feminist movement I am the enemy. Do I believe that women should have equal opportunity? Yes. Do I think women deserve equal pay for equal work? Absolutely. Do I think women should be able to sleep with whomever they want whenever they want? As long as it’s consensual, yes. Do I think rape is horrible? I think rapists should be put to death. Yet, I would not be welcome at the Women’s March and other Feminist Organizations for many reasons. The third wave of feminism – the one that promotes pu**y hats, claims there’s an unfair gender gap, and teaches women that masculinity is inherently evil – doesn’t include me and, furthermore, I think it’s much more damaging to women than helpful. The sad thing is that the world does desperately needs feminism but not in the places feminists usually are marching. Below is a list of where feminists should be focusing their energies.

  • Where we should be fighting for basic privileges

Women hold powerful positions in America. We can wear whatever we want, buy whatever we want, marry whoever we want, and divorce whoever we want. This is not the case in many other parts of the world. Saudi Arabia recently announced it would lift its ban on women driving in June of this year. Women in Saudi Arabia are still expected to have a male “wali” – an official guardian, typically a father, brother, uncle or husband. In practice, women need their guardian’s consent for any major activity, including travelling, obtaining a passport, getting married or divorced, and signing contracts. They also can’t “wear clothes that show off their beauty,” interact with men, compete in sports, go swimming, or try on clothes.

There was a protest in Iran just last month because women are forced to wear hijabs. Women in Iran can also be banned from traveling or even going to work by their husbands.

  • Where we should be fighting for sexual freedom

Young girls in Mali and Somalia are still subject to genital mutilation. In Mali and Nepal child marriages are the norm. In Mali, one in 10 young women die in childbirth. 37% of girls in Nepal are married before 18. The rape of women in the Democratic Republic of Congo is so widespread that United Nation’s investigators called it “unprecedented.” Systemic rape is a huge problem in Pakistan and Sudan as well. Things are so bad for women in Afghanistan in terms of domestic abuse and forced marriages that women turning to suicide as an escape has become the norm.

Sex trafficking exists all over the world, including the United States. But compared to other countries, the United States is doing fine in this area. The following countries are the biggest violators of human rights via sex trafficking: Algeria, Libya, South Sudan, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Congo, Kuwait, Iran, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, North Korea, (but hey, Kim Jong Un’s sister is cool right?) Belarus, and Russia.

  • Where anti-domestic abuse efforts should be focused

In Guatemala domestic violence is abound. Honor killings still take place in Pakistan where they are so prevalent women are frequently executed for adultery. Honor killings are commonplace in India as well. Both countries have informal court systems which almost always side with men.

  • Where we should be concerned about “women to work” and education rights

In Afghanistan and the Central African Republic, only 24% of women can read, in Benin 27%, in Chad 14%, in Mali 22%, in Niger 11%, in South Sudan 16%. It’s no coincidence that many of the most violent-towards-women countries are the ones where women are least educated. In Afghanistan, Papua New Guinea, Haiti, Egypt, Pakistan and at least 15 other prominent countries, girls go to school at much lower rates than their male counter-parts. Usually because they are not allowed to or the risk of rape is too high if they do attend.  85% of women in Afghanistan receive no education. More than three-quarters of the world’s illiterate adults are found in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa; of all the illiterate adults in the world, almost two-thirds are women

Education obviously effects work opportunities. In every country with low female education rates you can expect work prospects to also be low for women. But to take it one step further, in 18 countries, married women cannot get a job without their husband’s permission: Bahrain, Bolivia, Cameroon, Chad, Congo, Gabon, Guinea, Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Mauritania, Niger, Qatar, Sudan, Syria, United Arab Emirates, West Bank and Gaza and Yemen.

  • What should alarm feminists about abortion and gender bias

Abortion is not an equal opportunity experience. By that I mean female fetuses are aborted at a much higher rate than male fetuses. Before we leave the womb, we’re already being discriminated against. Gender-based abortion happens in third world and first world countries alike due to cultural preferences and a desire to “keep the family name alive.” Official figures suggest as many as 4,700 females have disappeared from the latest national census records of England and Wales, raising fears that indicate the illegal practice of sex-selection abortion has become prevalent in the UK.

According to the United Nations Population Fund, around 117 million women are believed to be “missing” in Asia and Eastern Europe – the result of son preference and gender-biased sex selection, a form of discrimination. A problem since the 1990s, in some areas there are reports of up to a 25% difference between male and female births. These gender biases have been linked to increased human trafficking and domestic violence against women.

Writing this made me feel shameful. Shameful that I have done absolutely nothing to help these women around the world. Everything listed above is not commonplace in the United States. I live a pretty kush life. Are there issues for women in the United States? Of course. I have my gripes like everyone else. But they are small potatoes compared to the extremely dire situations for women around the world. Women in America march around in pus** hats whilst college educated, divorced and bruise free. Millions of women in other countries couldn’t even dream of doing such a thing. I mean literally if they told the wrong person they did dream of it there is a good chance they would receive some sort of very unpleasant punishment.

But where are all the Women’s Marchers? Not to say none of them are helping these poor women overseas, I’m sure some of them are, but a great deal of effort, money and time are put into feminist efforts here in the states. I can’t help but wonder what that kind of effort and media attention could accomplish in Nepal or Afghanistan or Cameroon.

Don’t ever accept an injustice just because it’s not as bad as it could be, but do think about how you can best utilize your resources, make the biggest changes and exploit your abilities. In feminism and in every facet of your life.

0 Prejudice is Natural

  • October 4, 2017
  • by Connie Morgan
  • · Culture · Thought Box

Humans are designed to do two things: survive and reproduce. The two are linked as reproducing is how the species ultimately survives. I’ve touched on this in another post but most everything about humans is designed to contribute to either surviving or reproducing. Prejudice is one of them.

Prejudice is a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience. Humans are wired to have prejudices or preconceived notions about certain people or certain things as a mode of survival. We’re wired to be attracted to things that are similar to us. A study done by Arizona State University found that “because human survival was based on group living, ‘outsiders’ were viewed as — and often were — very real threats.”

This is why people often prefer to date people who look like them or be friends with people who look like them. Asians are likely to date other Asians, whites date other whites, blacks date other blacks etc. We automatically love and trust our family more than others and for the same reasons we automatically trust and love folks who look like us. Our brains are wired to sort those people into the “family” category or at least closer to it than someone who looks/talks/dresses very different than us.

A study from Ghent University in Belgium, also found that prejudice doesn’t come from a set ideology. The study found that prejudice is a result of people’s desire to make quick and safe judgments. Surprises aren’t useful to survival. The study notes that humans have a need to feel safe and they do this by making quick decisions to best stabilize their lives. Again, this all relates back to our instincts to best protect ourselves. From the beginning of time, prejudice has helped humans avoid real danger.

Humans are also designed to learn prejudices from experience and our prejudices have evolved. For example, if a tall brunette man tries to kill you, there’s a great chance that you will walk away with an aversion to tall brunette men. If you’re deeply wronged by someone or witness someone being deeply wronged it’s natural to sort the group that the perpetrator belongs to into the “to be avoided” portion of your brain. We often do this subconsciously and when you do this, it actually means you’re normal.

I’m not making the case there is no prejudice backed by the traditional kind of racism one might think of, but rather that interpersonal preference is somewhat wired into us. While we don’t live in a caveman time period and there isn’t a need to constantly look around for the neighboring cave-family to attack or saber toothed tiger to pounce, natural prejudice creeps into all of our lives whether we admit it or not.

I point all this out because it gets pretty annoying when folks claim that a preference or attraction to certain features, skin colors, heights, genders etc are actually signs you’re a racist when in fact that’s counter to science. My dream guy would have skin color, eyes and hair similar to mine…does that make me a racist or a simply a normal human? I get away with it because my preferred look is one of the minority but I see no difference between me saying I’m most attracted to brown men and a white man saying he prefers white partners. But if a white man (gay or straight) were to publicly admit they’re white preference they’d get ripped apart by SJWs. Sometimes a preference is rooted in racism and sometimes it’s simply an aesthetic attraction we can’t control.

The bottom line is that it’s not really my business who you’re attracted to and why you’re attracted to them. I don’t care why you choose your friends. There’s also no shame in not being attracted to a certain trait, whether that’s height, skin tone or eye color, in fact, it’s natural. Ultimately it’s what’s on the inside that matters but we all know you can’t date someone unless you’re at least a little bit attracted to them, and no one should be bullied for their choices.

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